Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Mice Smarter Than Human

From the Press Democrat in Santa Rosa, CA comes a sad story, Woman tries to kill mice, shoots self. Well, maybe not sad. Sort of freaking hilarious actually. Somewhere a village is looking for its idiot.

According to this story, a woman saw a mouse and pulled out .44 caliber pistol. That's a .44 Magnum. You know, Dirty Harry? Huge. Like a cannon.

So anyway, she sees this mouse and decides to obliterate it. I mean a .44 for a mouse is like a nuclear bomb for a elephant. The bullet is almost as big as a mouse.

So let's get the facts. Was she really young? Nope, 43. Did she not have adult supervision? Nope, she was with a 42 year old man. She was in a trailer. Ahhh, the first clue. Instead of firing the gun, she dropped it. Ahhh. In my minds eye, I can see the whiskey bottle unstoppered on the vinyl-top, round, 2 chair, k-mart table that is sitting in the middle of the kitchen of this trailer.

After "it slipped", it blew a hole through her knee, ricocheted off the man's keys (which were hanging from his belt, ahh another clue), it then grazed the man's groin and then entered his pocket where it rested sleepily amongst his coinage.

Police recovered the bullet from his pocket. Much better than a recovery from the groin. Although, removing the ability to breed from these two might be a good idea. A little bleach in the gene pool.

Darwin wept.

Friday, June 6, 2008

Somebody is soooooo going to jail!

Not that I haven't *wanted* to do something like this, but this guy has completely lost it. Not only did he just lose his job, I think his last pay check might be paying some bills. That's money he'll need a lawyer for. Let's see: assault (about 10 charges for that), vandalism, anything else?

What a nut job.

http://view.break.com/513310 - Watch more free videos

Technorati : , , , ,

Saturday, December 29, 2007

Man spends night face down in poo

Septic tank snares D.M. man

A man fell into his septic and became lodged face down when he tried to fix a blockage. His wife later saw his feet poking up in the air and called rescuers.

As the only person to spend a full day with his face in human feces, he may be the only person in the US really qualified to vote in the 2008 presidential elections.


Tuesday, December 25, 2007

A New Definition of Dog Food

A guy's dog was stolen to make dinner. Yep, not a pretty thought. Fido brand dog food? Fido brand people food?

Friday, November 23, 2007

ECO Warrior Sterlizes Herself

From the Daily Mail, Meet the women who won't have babies - because they're not eco friendly.

This woman had an abortion, and eventually found a doctor to sterlize her, because "Every person who is born uses more food, more water, more land, more fossil fuels, more trees and produces more rubbish, more pollution, more greenhouse gases, and adds to the problem of over-population."

I believe in birth control, but this is a little extreme. I wonder if she supports the Chinese government's methods of enforced "1 child only"?

Unfortunately, this nut job can still adopt and spread her anti-human eco crap. At least she won't be reproducing and spawning additional nut jobs.

Wednesday, November 7, 2007

The Magic Android Potty

It doesn't get any better than this. No really. A hiney sprayer that gets 10-15 meters? A tush warmer?

This is buttocks magic!

Toilet paper is soooooo 20th century.

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

When Good Scientists Go Bad

Interesting article from Fox News, Scientists Find Oldest Living Animal, Then Kill It. Scientists found a clam estimated to be between 405 and 410 years old. They realized this shortly after killing it.

"Its death is an unfortunate aspect of this work, but we hope to derive lots of information from it," postdoctoral scientist Al Wanamaker told London's Guardian newspaper. "For our work, it's a bonus, but it wasn't good for this particular animal."

I'm glad they got such a nice bonus. I guess a christmas ham wouldn't be the same.